WHEN I AM NO MORE

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 “Life asked death, ‘Why do people love me but hate you?’ Death responded, ‘Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.”

When I am no more and dead
Will you remember me tested?
For the virtuous things I undertook
But never managed to get a kick
Or for the bad I tried to avoid
But was not too smart to succeed

Or will you forget too
The life I tried to lead, do
Far from a clean life, no saint
But trying to get by paint
Will you laugh at the sad?
Memories we made by the lake
Or by your fathers gate
Leaping and sneaking

Or will you forget
The music I loved
And throw away the records
That remind you of me
Will you forget our
One spot we made
Will you dread to remember?
The pain I went through
The trough of sadness
And the bucket of tears that
Silently begged to be released
From the chains of my eyes
Will you or will you?

Distant

Defiled

On the International Women’s day, I wanted to write a beautiful post on how empowerment women all over the world is bearing fruits. Then on a second thought , I decided to wait out and see how my day would turn out and therefore have a more personal thing to write about. By night fall, my day was still pretty uninteresting with a few ‘Happy Women’s Day’ here and there. Then something happened. I watched a story on one of Kenya’s leading local News Station titled JUSTICE DEFILED(video below).

I have never felt so disappointed in my life. These were stories of young girls who had been sexually assaulted by people they once knew and still justice had not served its course. Children as young as eight years old having their whole lives change painfully. One raped by her teacher, another by a relative and another with her father. How dare we say that the society has evolved for the better.

As much as you may want to dismiss it, how many people do you think are living out there this way. You may want to come to the conclusion that this is after all a developing country a ‘Third world nation’ where it is an expectation for people to live this way but even in the developed world people still live in hushed murmurs not able to vent their frustrations and pain to the world. They are forced to deal with depression and stay mute. Such a shame!Image result for reported sexual assault numbers globally

Make sure to note that even though most of the assaults are against women, It goes both ways with men and young boys also being subjected to rape, sodomy and sexual assaults. Transgender individuals too have been harassed, bullied and left to rot on their own. Seriously Rape is RAPE no matter who the person is and it is just wrong.

And to think someone once associated the clothes we wear with sexual assault. As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says in her book Dear Ijeawele,”Clothes have absolutely nothing to do with morals”. It is absolutely wrong to rape period.

http://www.carbonated.tv/viral/project-unbreakable-victims-quote-their-rapists-and-assaulters

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I could never understand how someone survived this, I have never been there. But I fear that it may happen again and this time it might be ME

Therefore I take a step for these people because as much as I want to, I cannot allow myself to sit at the back and watch this happen. I may not be changing much but in my little way of changing the world I say ‘LETS FIGHT RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT‘ and ‘ Let justice be served’. And to all those in this kind of situation I wish you peace in your little corner of the world.

via Daily Prompt: Murmuration

Social Beings.

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”A person’s a person, no matter how small they are” – Dr. Seuss

This morning my friend Ell and I were discussing on how lonely we get sometimes. How we wish that our lives were as great as those in the movies. I was busy commenting on how people could not understand how lonely people may be even though they have multiple friends. Then it occurred to me that I thought the same way as everyone else. A few years back a celebrity committed suicide because of loneliness that resulted in depression and I was the one who broke the sad news to my pals. “How could she! She had money, friends and supportive parents. I do not understand.” I reasoned and alas! all agreed with me.

We sometimes feel so down and we cannot share our troubles to the ones near neither can we share with those who are not close to us. So we end up rotting in our rooms, crying all day long watching meaningless movies and condemning ourselves. “I feel so alone. No one understands me.” we complain, yet we put ourselves in that situation.How does this happen? We are social beings. We let ourselves be defined by our society, the people around us instead of ourselves. So that becomes the stepping stone towards our destruction.

What can I say, I am the same way right? I look at my mirror five times before getting out of my room. When a friend says how horrible my hairstyle is, I quickly rush to the bathroom to fix it in the way she deems pretty. I wear a dress and I have to worry about how people will look at me, “Is it too short? Is it too long. Should I change?”. Now no matter how much we try to conform with the society, no one is ever satisfied because we all have different opinions, different perspectives. Therefore we ought not to judge according to our own standards. I know you agree with me, no one likes judgmental people. Yet the second that you pass that which or whom  you consider ‘Different’ you will judge. That makes us frail judgmental social beings.
Frail

In a mask

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I am reading one of Margaret Atwood’s bestselling novel Cat’s Eye. It is beautiful. I can relate myself to the main character-Elain. I think I am in a mask. I can’t express whether I am happy. Maybe I am just sad with a happy face. It happens doesn’t it?

I feel that something is missing, that I need to add something new to the story. This mask is suffocating me. Now they look at me and say I am foolish. But I am not, am I? They say I have the final say and I alone can choose to believe, I wish it was that easy.

I have no one to help me remove this mask but myself, and when you’ve got so much to achieve in very little time then you start feeling depressed-I am not in that stage yet. I have lot’s of luggage and I don’t know which one to drop first, especially now that I know that I am carrying a time bomb.

As part of removing the mask I am trying to learn to listen more and learn more. In the end it is just a mask no big deal, right?Mask