Self centered

Expectations were like fine pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack. Brandon Sanderson, The Way of Kings

Almost everyday I look at myself in the mirror and ask the girl I see, “What do you expect from me? “. I have discovered that it is the one of the important things that should matter in my life especially in this little corner of the world.

If you are a doctor what do you expect from yourself?  I’m no doctor but I’ve always wanted to be. I guess that’s why I took a great liking to the famous series Greys Anatomy. The passion the surgeons have is just mind blowing. But let’s go back to our main focus,  expectations. What do you expect from yourself? Such a simple question with such a complicated answer.

It’s complicated due to the fact that everyone has different expectations of different things and people.  Sometimes they become too much that we forget what we expect from ourselves and just go with the flow of being people’s robots and machines. Other times I don’t even know what I want exactly. My mind has been  programmed to think and function in a certain way and you know what the worst thing about all this is,  I let it happen.

I sat my ass in the Society’s hospital bed and let it mound my thinking, my actions and my beliefs according to its needs. I know I bash the society constantly but I can’t help but feel and believe that it has let me down. I expected a lot more, there is the word again.

Anyways every time (since I learnt of the Society’s  need to control )I ask myself what I expect from myself I answer, “The best for me”. Call me self centered but really if you can’t do it for yourself who will?


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