What is bought is cheaper than a gift. ~Portuguese Proverb
I can vividly remember my tenth birthday. It was the first time I had a party. It may seem weird but in this parts that we do not get to have parties when we are young, it was more of a family affair; we simply hang out with the family and eat a special dish and have the day to ourselves. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I was frantic, overjoyed and jumpy, surely you do understand. I went to invite some of my friends over and after convincing their parents that they would not stay for long, we were good to go. My father had just bought a disco ball for his billiard hall and therefore my mum and had made sure to connect it before and I could not wait to turn it on during the dancing session.
After sitting for a well cooked lunch my mama’s famous spaghetti noodles and fried chicken, we cut the well outlined cake that screamed “Happy 10th birthday”. I was so ecstatic when the time to present presents came. Of course my friends did not specifically bring anything due to the short notice I had given them but I did not mind. In fact was the least of my worries at the time since I just wanted to see what my parents got me. My dad passed me a carefully wrapped package, a small box which after opening revealed the first clock ever given to me. It was beautiful and I felt so special. Well years later when I was at school, my curious sister destroyed it but I still keep the pieces it was my first clock after all.
This morning my friend Ell and I were discussing on how lonely we get sometimes. How we wish that our lives were as great as those in the movies. I was busy commenting on how people could not understand how lonely people may be even though they have multiple friends. Then it occurred to me that I thought the same way as everyone else. A few years back a celebrity committed suicide because of loneliness that resulted in depression and I was the one who broke the sad news to my pals. “How could she! She had money, friends and supportive parents. I do not understand.” I reasoned and alas! all agreed with me.
We sometimes feel so down and we cannot share our troubles to the ones near neither can we share with those who are not close to us. So we end up rotting in our rooms, crying all day long watching meaningless movies and condemning ourselves. “I feel so alone. No one understands me.” we complain, yet we put ourselves in that situation.How does this happen? We are social beings. We let ourselves be defined by our society, the people around us instead of ourselves. So that becomes the stepping stone towards our destruction.
What can I say, I am the same way right? I look at my mirror five times before getting out of my room. When a friend says how horrible my hairstyle is, I quickly rush to the bathroom to fix it in the way she deems pretty. I wear a dress and I have to worry about how people will look at me, “Is it too short? Is it too long. Should I change?”. Now no matter how much we try to conform with the society, no one is ever satisfied because we all have different opinions, different perspectives. Therefore we ought not to judge according to our own standards. I know you agree with me, no one likes judgmental people. Yet the second that you pass that which or whom you consider ‘Different’ you will judge. That makes us frail judgmental social beings. Frail
“You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.” ― Steve Maraboli
I have rocked my brain back and forth while reading our family’s history and I came to the realization that for generations we have never really been happy. Don’t get me wrong, we have family get together and fun like any other family in town but we have never seriously experienced inner joy.Take me for example, I consider myself a happy fellow. I hang out with my friends, I tell great jokes and we laugh our selves silly but come to think of it, I may be a totally different person inside. You’ll agree with me that most of us feel the same way. It feels like trapped in our own eggshells. We show a facade of neatness and happiness yet our inner being craves for something greater, a purpose or simply a push out of the comfort zone.
Well I wouldn’t know how people are after all, I am no expert. But wouldn’t you want to know what you really are meant to do? Question your existence- not in the where did I come from sense but in the why I am here sense. According to me, that is when you get inner peace and with time comes fulfillment. Happiness is like success. We read and listen to success stories over and over again and that is a good thing. To actually say that you are successful simply because you heard them isn’t right. It takes real action and therefore we should not base our lives on the outside lives, rather base it on both aspects.Let us not forget that sometimes it is the little things that matter most. Purpose